Five Things Dads Would Like On Valentine’s Day

1. Head rub.  
I don’t do it very often, but there is nothing more relaxing and soothing than lying my head on my wife’s lap after a rough day and having her give me a light head rub. Her healing touch relieves stress and bonds me closer to her. Whenever I get a cold, having her put pressure on my sinuses helps me feel much better. Besides, having all her attention focused on me (even if only for a short time) instead of on the kids tells me she still cares. If your relationship does not lend itself to a head rub (at least without risking physical harm), find a creative alternative. In that situation, springing for a gift certificate for a professional massage might be just the ticket. It will be appreciated and might just be the key to smoothing over the rough edges the next time you negotiate something.

2. A note of appreciation from mom and kids. 
This is where each one writes what they appreciate most about Dad. If you interview men as much as I do, you soon find that the greatest struggle fathers face is feeling unappreciated for all they do. You don’t hear them whine about it, but I know from experience that having the lives and well-being of a family on your shoulders is a difficult and often thankless job. A note like this will re-fuel dad and keep him being the rock that people depend upon him to be. Again, this might be tough for mom if you are divorced or separated, but surely you can find something nice to say about him.  Even if it’s just that you value that he pays child support, it’s the thought that counts. Your children will appreciate it and learn a great lesson about healthy relationships.

3. Cook his favorite meal. 
This is pretty self-explanatory. Hint — it probably doesn’t include salad or too many vegetables. Have the kids help. If you take him out for dinner instead, don’t make Dad pay.

4. A night out with mom — alone. 
A one-night stay in a nice local hotel with his wife is the dream of every man I know. Everyone thinks dads aren’t romantic. That’s not true. They are just romantic in a slightly different way. While I know that women think it’s romantic when a man plans an evening out, your planning this evening out takes the pressure off him and allows him to relax and enjoy your company. There’s no pressure to perform or risk failing and being humiliated in public. I’m betting he will have a little spring in his step when he gets home the next morning.

5. Man Gear.
Finally, for the man who likes to put a few pieces of meat on the grill on the weekend, there’s nothing cooler than this baseball glove oven mitt (don’t forget a wacky BBQ apron as well—“Kiss the Cook,” etc.).  Even if he doesn’t like to cook, buy him a cool bib (or make one). I hate ruining my t-shirts every time I eat ribs or a juicy burger. 

Rick Johnson is a sought-after speaker and bestselling author of 11 books on parenting and marriage. He is also the founder and director of Better Dads Ministries.