MEN’S HEALH & WELLNESS

The Unspoken Struggle For Men: Is The American Dream Unaffordable? Why The Modern Male Is Struggling, And Why It Matters.

A man must have a code, as John Wayne once said. Omar Little from The Wire echoed this sentiment. But where does that code originate?

A code is not innate; it is learned from mentors and life experience. Today, where are young men finding their code? Is it from social media, video games, or pornography? Is it from homes without fathers? There is broad agreement that young men are in crisis, and the data support this view.

Girls graduate from high school on time at higher rates than boys. Women easily outnumber men in college enrollment.

In spring 2025, women made up 58 percent of all U.S. undergraduate students. Boys experience significantly more behavioral and developmental issues than girls. Teenage boys also report having fewer close friends. Notably, 15 percent of young men say they have no friends, a fivefold increase since 1990.

Male suicide rates have increased more rapidly than female rates in recent decades. Currently, men die by suicide at over four times the rate of women. Male labor force participation has declined for decades, while women’s participation has increased. Among men aged 20 to 24, one in ten is neither in school nor employed, double the rate from 1990. This is only a sample of the data.

There is extensive data indicating a decline for boys and men, even as society celebrates the progress of young women. Meanwhile, young men are more likely to be criticized for so-called toxic masculinity. Consider it from this perspective.

Women are also affected when many men are struggling. Supporting men ultimately benefits women as well. The impact of these trends is increasingly evident in recent news.

For instance, look at this. Thomas Matthew Crooks, who shot President Trump at that Butler, Pennsylvania rally, was 20 years old at the time. Luigi Mangione was 26 years old when he allegedly killed the UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson. Robin Westman, the shooter who killed two and injured 21 at the annunciation kill Catholic Church before committing suicide, was 23 at the time. And Tyler Robinson, suspected of shooting Charlie Kirk, suspected in that assassination, is 22 years old.

The death of Charlie Kirk, a young man whose life may have offered insights into solutions, underscores the urgency of this issue. Richard Reeves, the founder of the American Institute for Boys and Men, wrote Boys and Men, which examines why the modern male is struggling. He co-wrote a recent piece in the New York Times comparing today’s problems to the boy problem of 1900.

Rahm Emanuel, former White House Chief of Staff, Mayor of Chicago, and Ambassador to Japan, recently stated in a Washington Post article that young people once believed hard work would lead to the middle class, but that is no longer the case.

Currently, 40 percent of the S&P 500’s market value comes from companies that have discovered rage is even more effective than sex in marketing. These companies have built the largest mechanisms for generating outrage in history.

As a result, many young men are highly engaged online, lack meaningful relationships, and face powerful technologies from major corporations that suggest they do not need friends or employment, as platforms like Robinhood and Discord offer alternatives such as trading cryptocurrency.

And why would they go through the effort of trying to work out, have a plan, demonstrate kindness, demonstrate excellence, demonstrate resilience, to establish a romantic relationship when they have porn?

So in some ways, death is a larger metaphor for what our society is at the hands of shareholder-driven big tech, that we’re planning our own extinction.

40 years ago, 60% of 30-year-olds had at least one child at home; today, that figure is 27%. Fewer young people are engaging in sexual relationships: among those aged 18 to 29, the proportion who have not had sex in the past year has risen from 1 in 8 to 1 in 4. Social isolation has severe consequences for all mammals, including humans.

Just as leaving dogs alone is harmful, encouraging social isolation in young people for profit-driven reasons is damaging, particularly for men.

When women lack romantic relationships, they often channel that energy into friendships and professional pursuits. In contrast, men may become more engaged online, gravitate toward conspiracy theories or misogyny, and are at greater risk of radicalization. The stereotype of single women in their 30s struggling to find partners is largely a myth.

Men need relationships more than women. Research shows that widows are happier than widowers, and that widows rely more on relationships than widowers do. Widows often report greater happiness after losing a spouse, while widowers experience less. Men live four to seven years longer when in a relationship, compared to two to four years for women. Despite this, major companies promote the idea that digital interactions can replace real-life connections, which ultimately leads to greater division and frustration.

For example, when two high school seniors apply to college, the female applicant is developmentally ahead; the male’s prefrontal cortex lags by about 18 months and does not fully mature until age 25.

Males are also more prone to risk-taking and seeking dopamine-driven experiences, placing them at a biological disadvantage. This is compounded by an educational system that often disadvantages boys.

Boys are twice as likely as girls to be suspended for the same behavior, and Black boys are five times as likely. Women make up three-quarters of K-12 educators, which may influence whom they support. Seven out of 10 high school valedictorians are girls. However, risk-taking has historically benefited society, whether in building projects like the Empire State Building or in situations requiring heroism and entrepreneurship. These qualities are often valued in young men.

Unfortunately, these traits have often been distorted online. Biologically, men develop more slowly. Here’s a concerning statistic: If a 15-year-old boy and girl both experience sexual abuse, the boy is 10 times more likely to die by suicide later in life. While boys may be physically stronger, they are often more emotionally and mentally vulnerable than girls.

Scott Galloway, Professor of Marketing at NYU Stern School of Business, wrote in his book, Notes on Being a Man, that “there’s no such thing as toxic masculinity — that’s the emperor of all oxymorons.” He says that while cruelty, abuse of power, and violence exist, we should consider restoring masculinity as a positive code of conduct. Everyone needs a guiding code, whether it comes from religion, family, work, or the military. “I believe masculinity can provide that framework for young men.

“For those struggling to find direction, masculinity can offer essential guidelines. To me, it consists of three pillars, the first being the role of provider.

“Men are often evaluated as partners based on their economic success, which significantly influences their sense of purpose and self-worth. Seventy-five percent of women consider economic viability important in a partner, compared to only 25 percent of men.

“Men generally place less emphasis on a woman’s economic status when choosing a partner. The second pillar is protector, exemplified by traditionally masculine roles such as military service, firefighting, and law enforcement.”